Archive for November 24, 2012

Why you will die alone


Everything is postponed for day – including your awesome answers to yesterday’s post (keep ‘em coming!).

Tonight, Mr The Rake took over…

 

Why You Will Die Alone

By Mr The Rake 

Rake

Sometimes in life we encounter uncomfortable truths. Nobody likes to hear these, but sometimes they’re just what we need in order to change for the better. The process isn’t pleasant. No alcoholic likes hearing that a diet of Scotch and more Scotch is turning his liver into a prune, but he needs to know that if he is to avoid cirrhosis. No smoker likes to hear that they’re sucking down aerosolised cancer, but they must know that if they’re ever going to muster the motivation to quit, or alternately, to switch to smoking something that will at least get them high. These are obvious targets though. I’m going to provide a community service here and tell you what a supportive online community of fellow runners won’t: if you keep running long distances, you will die alone, smothered under the weight of your 17 cats.

That probably sounds ridiculous, because running is healthy. Right? Wrong. Running will ruin you. Everyone I know who runs hurts themselves constantly. Shin splints, seized up hip flexors, bad knees, sprained ankles, major tissue damage, the works. As a doctor*, I 100% guarantee that if you keep this lunacy up you’re going to look like a desiccated shell of a human being. You will end up as a walking corpse, and not the good kind that takes lots of drugs and plays lead guitar for the Rolling Stones.

That, at least, should explain how you’re going to end up lying flat on your back, unable to move, fighting for breath against the gentle press of Mr Fluffy’s paws on your chest, choking the life out of you even as he tears strips off your nose. However that’s getting ahead of ourselves, because you can’t spell “die alone” without “alone”. How will you end up alone? I’m glad you asked.

You will end up alone because running makes you insufferable. That’s not a judgment on any individual; it’s just a fact. Like PCP, running turns reasonable people into lunatics who will eat your face if you give them half a chance. I love Kate, but a 25 km run turns her into a mean drunk who will murder twenty people with a fork if there’s a can of Diet Coke to be scavenged from their tattered remains.

I’ve heard running called a sport, but that doesn’t sit well with me. To me, a sport is something like football, where you kick a ball to your mates, shout a lot, get knocked around a bit, and end up getting drunk at the pub afterwards because it’s all just a bit of fun. Running strikes me more as something that you feel compelled to do because in a past life you were Hitler. If a dog runs up and starts playing with some guys who are kicking a ball around in a park, nine times out of ten they will laugh and pat it. If a dog gets in Kate’s way around Iron Cove, she will shout at it until its skin falls off. To put it mildly, distance running is not always conducive to human interaction.

Look, I won’t deny that long distance running has its benefits. Most runners look a lot better than me, and the fitness will probably get them a lot further than a diet of beer and chicken burgers will get me when the Great Bear Plague strikes in 2024. That said, while I’m in hell, being scourged by Richard Nixon and listening to a flock of Kardashians sing We Built This City for all of eternity, you’re well on your way to joining me. You just need to spill the cat food on yourself first.

* Not a medical doctor. Not the other kind either.

 

Thanks dude. Looks like I’m about to be gifted 17 cats as a parting gift. 

 

Your Turn!

Tell him he’s wrong – or right!

 

Your Turn!


Answer this:

 

I run for…

Kate Running 10km in Cairns

I run for freedom. I run for a clear mind. I run to remove the crazy. I run.

 

Best answers posted tomorrow!

 

Holiday a Day

 

You know what happened to yesterday’s post? I fell asleep. Pathetic.


Oops

As I explained to Mr The Rake, the weekend spent watching Grey’s Anatomy was a roller coaster ride of emotion. Over 2 seasons, those doctors are up, and up, and down, and up, and dead, and up, and plane crashed, and car crashed, and down, and up, and legless, and up, and happy, and partying, and sleeping with each other, and in a shooting, and at another funeral, and sleeping together again, and divorcing, and up, and up, and down again.

It’s too much. Too much emotion in two days.


With all of that emotional turmoil, it’s no wonder I fell asleep.

 

Mental Monday

This means I’m a day late for Mental Monday. So let’s just go back in time for a sec, ok?

Mental Monday

Here’s how Mental Monday works – you can link up (it takes a tiny fraction of blog space), or you can put your answers below. You take a negative thought, and you think of something positive instead – it doesn’t have to be related. It can be about anything, and it just encourages people (like crazy me) to think about something good, even at the start of a busy week.

My negative: I am terrified about getting results back for uni. It doesn’t matter what I get, but I hate getting results. I don’t even know when they come out. I don’t want to know.

My positive: Today, I got back into some speed work. I hit the treadmill. Hard.

 

Christmas Cheer

I went through a period of hating Christmas. But now I love it. And this year is the first year Mr The Rake and I have been together that we will get to wake up in our own house on Christmas morning. Even better is that I now go to a gym that is open on Christmas day AND I am now a runner – which can be done outdoors. Any day of the year (yeah, I know you’re reading this Rake. I’m not apologising).

AND…

It’s time for another challenge. 

Dear social media lovers, get ready for #holidayaday. Some of my favourite blog and twitter friends and I have created a December Instagram challenge.


Here’s how it works – take a photo on each day in December that fits the day’s theme. Tag it with #holidayaday and the theme (e.g. #drink) and you’re in! Simple, fun, and you get to meet a whole new group of IG friends.

Here’s the group – go and add us!


Abby from Back at Square Zero (IG: backatsquare0)

Rebecca from Rebecca Roams (IG: RebeccaRoams)

Kat from Sneakers and Fingerpaints (IG: katsnf)

Mindy from Mindy’s Fitness Journey (IG: mindyartze)

Kate from Run With Kate (IG: runwithkate)

Sarah from Mom Running On Empty (IG: momonempty)

Mindy at Road Runner Girl (IG: roadrunnergirl)

Gina at Noshing on Asphalt Instagram / Twitter: AsphaltNosher

It’s on – from 1st December, be ready to tag your photos.

 

Today’s Moment

I ran a double! Running is on the up. I hit up some intervals this morning, and then went for another run after work. Don’t worry – I’m taking a day off running tomorrow.

 

Your Turn!

Admit it – are you a Grey’s fan?
Do you ever run doubles?
What’s your Mental Monday Moment?

 

 

Santa came! In Runners.

 

I loved all of your comments after the Mr The Rake interview. He may not be a runner, but he’s definitely good value!

 

Race Day

If you follow me on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, you likely saw my race today.


Getting our Santa on

It was Santa fun run day.


Superman getting buff

I ran with three girls from the gym, and Superwoman and her husband (Superman?).


Superwoman and Kate making friends with the local Santas

We chilled out and ran together. Except for the bit where we got split into two groups. And the bit where Superman strode out and I thought he wanted to race, so I sprinted to the finish, which was actually the start, and realised I had to keep running another half kilometre.

Directions have never been my forte.


But we got there!

 

And an untimed 5km in a Santa suit calls for celebration. So we had a pit-stop on the way home.

Strawberries

Because chocolate is always delicious (I had already eaten the other chocolate one).

…running

On the running front, I know some of you are interested in an update. The last couple of weeks have been tough, and frustrating. And I realised I was over-doing it. Pushing too hard, too fast. So I stepped back.

I ran without my watch, I ran for pleasure, I ran with friends, I let superwoman tell me to forget it for awhile, and I gave myself some relaxed time. And I will again. Until I have the desire to step it up.


And I think that’s a really valuable thing for me to learn. And I’m sure some of you can relate.

A goal is great, but we don’t always have to be reaching for that goal. It’s ok to have an aim, but to let it lie fallow. To wait for the time to strike.

I’m learning.

Today’s Moment

Duh


Your Turn!

Have you had a Christmas or Thanksgiving race? 
When do you know to take a step back?
Are you a chocolate person?

 

An Interview with Mr The Rake

 

An Interview with my Man

Meet my better half – Mr The Rake.


Name

Mr The Rake

Can we know your real name?

No

Why not?

Because then they might find me.

Who are ‘they’?

Why are you asking so many questions?


What exercise do you do?

I just got back into lifting weights.

What keeps you working out?

The knowledge that, one day, I might need to fight a bear.

Are you a runner too?

Lol

Can you think of things that are better than running?

Anything except being attacked by a bear.

Have you ever considered running a marathon?

(At this point, Mr The Rake nearly choked on his tongue while laughing).


Best activity ever

How often do you work out?

Based on recent experience, once a year.

Why not more often?

Because it interferes with my religion.

What is your religion?

Halo.

That’s not a religion.

It’s more of a religion than Scientology.

And moving right along…

Why do you date a runner?

Because before she was Run with Kate, she was just ordinary Kate. She wasn’t a runner when I started dating her. She was just fun.

And she’s not fun now?

Not after 20km. Or when she gets injured. Or when she has to set an alarm for 4am to carbo-load.

Has running changed your relationship?

Yes, I see a lot less of her now. And I have more conversations that I don’t understand.


I’m not sure if he’s shouting, or just about to go for a single bite.

Has running had any positive impact on your relationship?

It makes Kate happy. In ways that I never did.

Do you have any words of wisdom for people whose partners have just started running?

If they tell you they need Diet Coke, buy some Diet Coke. Now.

 

These really were his answers. So, my calmer other half, thanks for being you.

Rake

 

Movember

I promised my brother, Big J, that I would give him a shout out for his Movember page. He is growing a filthy, filthy mo for men’s health.


Big J’s donation page is here.

 

Today’s Moment

Mr The Rake and I drank champagne, went out to dinner and ate ice cream. For no reason at all. 

 

Your Turn!

Do you have something fun on this weekend?
Does your other half love or hate exercise?
How has running changed your relationship?